How Worshipping Together in a Holy Space Brought Healing

An excerpt from Chapter 18: He Sings to Me in Angie’s book: A Mother Like Me: A Story of Faith, Hope, and Love in Loss.

“The LORD your God . . . will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing .” (Zephaniah 3:17, BSB)

During the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life, God has used music to sing to me of His redeeming love. He is the song in my heart, and music is the language of my soul.

My mother was an accomplished musician with a lovely singing voice, an ear for music, and perfect pitch. She could hear a note played or sung and actually name the note. When she was in college, she was the student assistant director for one of her professors as well as for the Philharmonic orchestra in Los Angeles. Needless to say, our home and everyday lives were filled with music.

With what my mom described as my “natural showmanship and stage presentation,” she believed I was destined for stardom and devoted hours singing to and with me.

Comfortable and self-confident, singing became the heart and soul of who I was and what I did for more than 40 years. That’s why I remember how sad and troubling it had been to hear my mom tell a friend, “The song is dead. The music is gone,” after my dad died.

I didn’t understand what she meant until Kevin died. I couldn’t sing a note without choking on tears, and I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to really sing again.

Then I considered that when God formed me in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139), He also created within me the song I have to sing, and His spirit often sings to me. Never has He sung such sweet music as He did after He took Kevin. The music in me didn’t die. God’s song remained alive within me, and He continues to give me a song to sing.

Since Kevin’s death, I have written and published a new rendition of the Lord’s Prayer and several light- hearted, whimsical children’s songs that I, along with my Cunningham and Green book publishing coauthor and illustrator, Judy Cunningham, are turning into books for pre-K to third-grade children.

I strongly believe that none of the songs or stories would have been written or published unless God sang to me as His way to keep music alive in my soul.

After Kevin died, it took about a month before Bob and I could go back to church. It wasn’t that we didn’t want or need to be in the company of our church family. It was because we knew it was going to be emotional.

We didn’t want to weep all over ourselves in public.

Then, one Sunday in church, we were singing one of my favorite praise songs. With my eyes closed and tears pouring out of my eyes, down my cheeks, and off my face, my hands reached out for God in adoration and praise. I felt warm all over.

In that moment, I had an overwhelming sense that Kevin was worshipping and praising God in that moment. Somehow, we were standing together in a holy and sacred space.

Tears of grief became tears of joy, and my connection to God and my son was profoundly real. We were joined together then because of the love and Spirit of God that binds us together forever. We were in one accord and of one spirit.

That Sunday morning, I sang with a voice clear and strong—and the music goes on. 

“Sing to the Lord a new song. (Psalm 33:3)

You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent . LORD my God, I will praise you forever .” (Psalm 30:11–12, NIV)

I will sing to the LORD as long as I live; I will sing praise to my God while I have being .” (Psalm 104:33, ESV)

“Because you are my help, I will sing in the shadow of your wings .” (Psalm 63:7, NIV)

Sing, all you who ware upright in heart!” (Psalm 32:11, NIV)

“The brook would lose its song if God removed the rocks .” —Unknown

I am so excited for someone to win a copy of Angie’s book. She was a guest on my podcast back in August when I did my STRENGTH acrostic series and we talked about G- Giving God Praise even as your heart breaks as well as her upcoming book, A Mother Like Me.

I am so excited it is finally here, and I cannot wait for someone to win a copy. To enter the giveaway, please click the following link . You can also click this link to listen to our podcast episode!

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