How to Still Trust When God Doesn’t Answer The Way You Want

One night before bed as I was scrolling on social media, I came across a post that asked people to share amazing testimonies of how God has worked in their life. Comment after comment, I was blown away by God’s faithfulness, but one comment especially stood out to me.

This user said that while she was praying one night, she heard the Holy Spirit say, “You will have a son, and you will name him Thomas” and God was faithful—Thomas had just celebrated his 8^th birthday.

My husband and I have been struggling with infertility for 5.5 years.

Each month we have to navigate a grieving cycle that is invisible to the world around us.

The heartbreak of yet another failed attempt feels almost unbearable. After reading this comment and God’s overwhelming faithfulness, I prayed a simple prayer:

“Lord, will you do that for me? Will you speak to me about this?”

I had a peace that He would. I checked the time. It was 10:30. I went to sleep.

Simultaneously, a dear friend in Ireland was woken up from a dream at 6:30 a.m. her time, which would have been 10:30 p.m. my time—the exact same time I prayed that prayer.

We hadn’t spoken in a while, so I was surprised the next morning to see a voice message from her. As soon as she started talking, I knew God was answering my prayer from the night before.

However, I could already tell that it wasn’t what I had expected when making that plea.

I braced myself and attempted to listen closely as I steadied my heart rate.

In the dream, she and I were at a pub and people would randomly break out in song. Then, I started to sing. She said the whole room got quiet and listened intently as I sang a lament about a woman in pioneer times who couldn’t get pregnant or stay pregnant.

In her dream, I then fell to my knees and wept and she came to comfort me. She said I became like a child in her arms as she was comforting me. She woke up in tears and could really feel the pain that I was going through. She recorded the voice message two hours after waking up but was unable to tell me the message without crying.

My friend was extremely gracious and said she wasn’t sure what I was going through or if this dream even resonated with me. But she felt strongly to share this with me.

God was trying to tell me: “I see you and I hear you, and I am with you in this.”

She also felt led to share the song Thy Will Be Done by Hillary Scott with me. Some of the lyrics that especially stood out to me are as follows:

I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store
So Thy will be done…

If I’m being honest, I was a little disappointed at first that this was the message. I had asked God to tell me I’m going to have a son and what to name him, so this was not exactly what I wanted to hear. But it was what I needed to hear, and even better because He is better.

The God of the universe chose to meet me in my pain in such a powerful way and remind me that He is with me in it.

I have always known that He is El Roi—The God Who Sees—but for Him to so personally reassure me of that was so kind of Him.

Now as I navigate the monthly cycle of infertility, He is my strength.

I am comforted knowing that He is not asking me to fix my problems, but to just rest in His presence and nearness—casting all my cares on Him because He cares for me.

I also appreciate that God sent my friend to me to share the message, empathize with my pain, and mourn with me. He could have spoken to me Himself, but He chose to use someone else and I think He often does that.

We are called to be His hands and feet, and He wants us to bear each other’s burdens.

We live in a broken world, but God is the Great Redeemer. He will restore all things, and He often uses our brokenness to minister to someone else. This story He gave me is not unique to me.

God hears and sees you as well, and He is with you in whatever trial you are going through.

Lean on Him and trust His perfect timing.

Catherine Olsen is a middle school instrumental music teacher with over a decade of teaching experience. She teaches Sunday School and has a passion for the youth and discipling the next generation. She has 3 dogs and enjoys reading and making clay jewelry in her free time.

Note: If you are struggling with infertility, I want to share with you some other Heartbreak to Strength Stories as well as some Depth Podcast Episodes of others who have walked this hard journey. I hope they will encourage you and remind you that you are not alone and that God sees you and hears you!

• Episode 31 (Infertility)
• Episode 81 (Infertility- special episode with Holley Gerth)
• Episode 130 (Infertility & Miscarriage)
• Episode 175 (Infertility & Miscarriage)
• Heartbreak to Strength Story by Patti Schultz: How A Decade of Infertility Transformed Into A Powerful Testimony of Faith & Hope
• Heartbreak to Strength Story by Hadassah Treu: How to Remain Strong When God Doesn’t Answer Our Prayers