How to Overcome Your Feelings of Not Enough

Today, I deposited the last of my alimony checks.

Sitting with my Jesus in prayer, it dawned on me that this moment was more than just another transaction—it was a stronghold being broken.

Though I had never consciously dwelled on it, I realized that while I was legally entitled to the alimony and had undoubtedly deserved even more, it had remained a tether to my past. It was earthly provision coming through my ex-husband, a reminder of the years I had spent relying on someone who had ultimately failed me.

Whenever the thought of him having to write those checks crossed my mind, I would wonder if it pained him just a little. Maybe, just maybe, it would prompt him to reflect, to grow, to make better choices. But today, as I held that last check, a new thought surfaced: This is the last one. Now, we will see how you do on your own.

That thought shook me. I had never truly considered it before. The echoes of old voices surged forward—my father’s words telling me I wouldn’t amount to anything without him, my ex-husband making me feel the same way.

Was I truly capable on my own? Was I enough?

The beautiful, freeing truth is that I have never been on my own.

Not once. Not even in my darkest moments, in the depths of heartbreak and uncertainty. Yes, I had made choices without consulting my King. I had stepped into a relationship, then a marriage, without seeking His guidance. I had walked my own way, convinced I was strong enough to forge my own path. And when it all crumbled—when my heart shattered, when my spirit felt crushed—I could not blame God for my suffering. I had left Him at arm’s length, making decisions that led to my own heartbreak.

But He never left me.

Even as I struggled, even as I mourned, even as I felt the weight of failure pressing down on me, He remained. His provision was never in question.

I had looked at my financial support as something coming from my ex, but in truth, all provision, all sustenance, all grace flows from Jesus. I was never an imposter because I received alimony; I was an imposter for believing that my provision came from anywhere other than my Savior.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

This is the verse that anchors me, that reminds me of who I am and whose I am. When I felt abandoned, He held me close. When I doubted my worth, He reminded me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. When I worried about how I would survive, He showed me that I was never meant to do it alone.

My needs—my emotional, spiritual, and physical needs—have always been met by my Father.

Today, as I step into this new chapter without the financial ties to my past, I feel lighter. Not because I no longer receive alimony, but because I recognize that I never needed it in the first place. It was not my security. It was not my future. It was a temporary provision, and my future rests in the hands of the One who created me, who sees me, who loves me without condition.

Heartbreak does not define me. The choices I made in the past do not dictate my future.

What defines me is my identity as a daughter of the King, a woman redeemed, a soul strengthened by grace.

There is power in breaking free from the things that once held us captive. There is peace in surrendering our fears, our doubts, our need for control to the One who has always had a plan for us.

For anyone reading this who feels bound to a past relationship, to financial dependence, to the lies that whisper you are not enough—know this: You are not alone. You have never been alone. Your worth is not measured by what someone else provides for you, by what you have lost, or by what you fear the future holds.

Remember your worth is found in Christ alone. He is your provider, your refuge, your strength.

I look ahead with anticipation, knowing that my story is far from over. This chapter has closed, but a new one is beginning—one filled with divine provision, unwavering faith, and a heart that continues to heal. I trust in my Jesus, and I know that whatever comes next, I will never walk alone.

Michele is an expert bean-counter by day. In addition to her work as a bookkeeper, her superpowers and side hustles include pastry chef, podcast host, and author. She has been told she has “sass,” which she deploys regularly. She has with exponential joy finished her first book, Butterfly Stitches, and is working on the sequel. According to her King, she apparently has several other books in her. At 61, she has launched a podcast and is having the time of her life.  She is an enthusiastic traveler, foodie, smart alec, and lover of her King, Jesus. Michele lives in Mesa, Arizona, with her daughter, who is lovingly known as Peanut. Michele would love to engage with you on her website and Instagram.